Have you ever heard of a born-again Christian? It is usually applied to someone who has repented all their past sins and declares Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Through His forgiveness, the person is re-born and can began to live a life dedicated to Christ without fear that their past sins would send them to hell. Many consider taking this path after having led a self-destructive life that not only affected them but others around them. It can be the ultimate catharsis. To be able to shed away your evil deeds and began a brand-new life.
Through doing this it is believed that all past sins, no matter how severe are forgiven.
Desiree contemplated this as she sat in the pretty Catholic church she spotted on her way back from a party. Her short dress was less than appropriate but entering the church was a last-minute decision. She sat there, eyeing the looming statue of Jesus Christ holding his hands out. Welcoming whatever lost soul stepped toward Him. Tonight, the soul that looked to be in His presence was that of Desiree, or whatever was left of it.
The church’s door was slightly ajar and there was a strong wind that entered, coursing through the aisles. Despite her clothing Desiree did not feel anything. Her body was still amped up from the actions she just committed. Her hands still smelled of the man she was just with. Her hair was still a mess though she managed to comb through it with her fingers. Her dress was slightly stained. Desiree did manage to wipe off it off with water but something stronger would be needed to do the trick.
It was dark inside the church. Dark and hollow. Desiree could hear even the slightest of sounds being made on the inside. She felt alone and afraid but also lost.
Why did you do it? It didn’t even feel right.
Desiree whispered to herself, the tears started to flow.
Were these feelings a sign that Desiree was ready to give up her old life? If given the chance would Desiree stop with these evil deeds and start brand new life. She was not so sure but these strange feelings of doubt made her wonder. If Desiree can be cleansed of her past, would be forgiven and allowed to start fresh, then maybe she no longer would look for men to satisfy her lust. Her dedication to Christ might just be satisfaction enough.
Father God in Heaven I pray…
Desiree placed her head down and started to pray for this chance, this forgiveness and this new life. She wanted to forget about that happened tonight. The man she met, what she did. She knew she could have stopped. She knew she had a chance to walk out that isolated alley. It was not like she would ever see him again. Desiree’s legs began to hurt. They were very sore from tonight. Trying to not to be distracted from praying, Desiree took one hand and rubbed her legs to massage the pain away. She felt something stick to her fingers. She lifted her hand and saw strands of dark short hair.
Desiree rubbed aggressively to get the hair off hands and thighs. She checked both her hands and to her horror, there was more of the man’s hair and stuck in between her fingers.
No, no, no, no.
Desiree quickly rose from her seat.
I need to get out of here.
However as soon as she turned around to exit the aisle she came face to face with an elderly woman, dressed in white cardigan sweater and black pants. The woman had a large rosary hanging from her neck and she smelled heavily of Elizabeth Taylor perfume. So much that it stung Desiree’s nostrils.
“Oh Goodness I am sorry to startle you, are you here for confession”, The elderly woman pressed her boney hands on Desiree’s shoulders.
“Excuse me” Desiree confusingly replied.
“Father Truman has been waiting in the confession booth for about ten minutes, you’ve must have dozed off” The elderly woman pointed to area in the corner of the church.
“I am sorry I don’t…”
“Don’t be shy, is this your first time? I could tell, this is a rather late time for confession, you must be in need.” The woman smiled warmly at Desiree.
Desiree looked again in the direction of what appeared to be a small room hidden in the corner.
“Thank you, I was nervous. Is the person in there Father…”
“Father Truman, oh I don’t know if I was supposed to tell you that” The elderly woman giggled innocently.
“Father Truman must have the patience of a saint to wait for me this long.” Desiree smiled at the elderly woman graciously and made her way to the corner of the church to the small doorway. Desiree glanced one more time at the statue of Jesus Christ before entering the small room, this must have been a sign.
Upon stepping through the doorway Desiree saw a booth. There was a large burgundy curtain covering two sides of the booth. She could see feet behind ne side and so she entered the other side. Desiree’s heart beat quickened as she sat in the booth. It was the same as the entrance of the church, dark and mysterious. Probably filled with all kinds of disturbing secrets. The priest on the other side seemed patient and quiet. A little too quiet. Desiree expected him to greet her but… nothing.
“Um, forgive me father for I have sinned” Though Desiree has never done confession before, she remembered these words from movies and television shows she’s watched.
Still no words from the priest. Desiree started to get annoyed, she needed purification, she needed absolution. Impatiently, she tapped on the screen in front of her. That is when she heard some shuffling.
A man groaned and lifted his head up.
“What do you want now” Father Truman did not seem welcoming, he sounded as if he had woken up from a sleep.
“Forgive me Father for I have sinned” Desiree repeated firmly.
“Oh goodness I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had another confession. Please forgive me I am exhausted” Father Truman said apologetically.
“Please child go ahead”
“I just need to know that this is confidential, and it goes against the teachings of the church for you to discuss what I am about to tell you” Desiree’s hands were shaking as she asked this.
“That is the seal” Father Truman assured her.
“Okay. I killed someone” Desiree casually blurted it out.
Father Truman did not immediately reply. Desiree waited, growing more nervous by the second. Then she heard the priest heavily sigh.
“Is this a joke, did Blake send you” Father Truman asked in a rather upset manner.
“What, no. I don’t even know who that is. Why would I joke about this?”
“I do not know who you are but I take my oath as a priest seriously. Please leave” Desiree could hear the Priest get out from the booth. She rose up and swung the curtain open.
“What the hell is your problem, you can’t deny me confession”
“Yes I can if it is false”
Father Truman walked faster away from Desiree. Desiree caught up and grabbed him by the arm.
“Keep your hands off me” He scowled.
“I don’t know what your problem is and I do not know who Blake is. But I need this. If you don’t listen to me, I might kill someone again. Do you want someone’s death on your hands?” Desiree harshly whispered rather to the angry priest.
What she just said struck in cord in Father Truman’s already ill stricken mind.
“I just want to be forgiven so I can move on start fresh. I want to know that I can still be saved”. Desiree fell to her knees and cried into her hands.
Last year, if you would have asked Desiree if she felt justified in her actions, she would have proudly said yes. But that’s the thing with psychopaths, they suffer from a severe moral deficit. Desiree was far from stupid, she knew exactly what she was.
The first time Desiree committed her first murder, it was spontaneous. The victim was a fellow college student looking to drug Desiree and she turned the tables. She had long forgotten his name. The police never solved the murder.
Since that day Desiree’s bloodlust grew like a hunger growling deep within her stomach. Hard to ignore, she began to think of different ways to keep her satisfied.
It wasn’t hard to woo her victims with her vivid green eyes and exotic looks. What was hard was finding the motivation. The drive, the ignition. Not every man Desiree would meet would have the same devious plan as her first victim.
This is when her standards slowly lowered.
However, this last victim really shook Desiree. It was an unexpected opportunity that landed in front of her. In a dark alley, with nobody around. But it was less then fulfilling.
Father Truman nervously looked around to see who was left in the church. He took attention back to Desiree and all her sorrowful beauty.
“This isn’t a cruel joke” Father Truman asked.
“No I swear” Desiree raised her right hand.
“I fail to see what joke this would be anyways”
“You don’t even know a Blake, do you”
“I don’t Father” Desiree’s eyes widen like a puppy.
“Come then” The priest walked hastily back to the confession booth. Desiree got up and followed behind. They both went back inside their respective places. Desiree and Father Truman both exhaled a breath of relief simultaneously.
“Start from the beginning my child”
“I’m afraid I will only begin from tonight. That is all I have the energy for” Desiree replied.
“I walking tonight from a friends party, I was angry because the Dean at my school that I’ve been sleeping with has been trying to stalk my every move. I have been ignoring him for a couple of weeks now. I just couldn’t keep up with his demands” Desiree paused for a moment.
“Go on child” Father Truman asked, waiting patiently for Desiree to begin.
After the confession, Desiree walked out of the church feeling a little more relaxed. A stray cat walked by and rubbed its matted fur against her bare legs. Desiree knelt down to pet the feline and as soon as she did, she could feel a wet sensation on the cat’s orange fur. It was blood and it was on her hands. She shot up and walked as fast as she could home. Knowing that that her confession to the priest was in vain.
When Desiree turned the corner, she came face to face with a familiar figure. She held in her breath. She wasn’t prepared for this one.
“Why were you following me” The man said.
“I wasn’t” Desiree’s voice was low. She tried to maintain her composure.
“Yes You were and you knew I was just in that church” The man’s voice was very intimidating. He stood a bit taller then Desiree, not very bulky. His blond hair was a mess. His eyes were as bewildered as wolf who’s just lost his prey. There were noticeable reddish stains on his grey shirt.
There was no point in continuing the lies. This man was not so naive.
“Fine, you’re right. I am assuming your name is Blake” She softly asked.
The man did not answer but his fists clenched. Desiree already spotted a couple of people in the area.
“That priest gave you up. I also know that you won’t hurt me. There are too many people around”
The man started to laugh, his grin was overwhelmingly malicious. Not once did Desiree move from her position. She stood firm and did not let on that she was scared. She already knew this game and she was not one for losing.
“Maybe I won’t. Now. But what makes you think I won’t track you down after tonight and gut your pretty little self apart” He kept that same malicious grin on as he spoke.
“I would spot you right away. You’re not very careful when tracking people. When you attacked that girl, you didn’t even notice her boyfriend a few feet away from her.”
Now Desiree was the one sporting a devious smile.
“Besides if it wasn’t for me, that guy would still be alive and on the phone with the police. It wouldn’t be long before you were arrested”
Blake starting to breathe heavily, Desiree noticed his mood darken but she already had him in her web and she wasn’t about to let go.
“I wore a mask” Blake growled.
“Yes but that didn’t disguise your height, your weight, your eye color, your hair color which I spotted underneath your flimsy ski mask. Not to mention” Desiree pulls out a small knife from her purse.
“This blade that the guy stuck in you with when you tried to attack him” Desiree handed Blake the knife.
“Are you going to take it”
Blake takes the knife and tries to immediately stab Desiree with it, but Desiree quickly dodged it and took out small taser from her jacket pocket. She hit Blake on the side of his abdomen with the taser, causing him to collapse to the ground. Desiree kneeled down over him and wrapped her arms around his writhing body.
“You see, not very observant” She pressed her body down on Blake’s then noticed a couple of people passing by her curiously.
“My boyfriend had a bit much to drink, we’re just waiting for a cab” Desiree assured the onlookers. They appeared to believe her and continue to walk away.
When they were out of Desiree’s sight, Desiree brought her face close to Blake’s.
“You did something to me tonight. You put me in a position to kill someone I had no plans of killing. It did not feel good at all. I thought maybe I felt remorseful, but the truth is I don’t know what I felt. When I noticed you came into the alley behind me to see that I already did your dirty work I did make a decision to follow you. I thought killing you would make me feel better. But when you walked into the church, well I got a little curious.”
“Curiosity killed the cat” Blake mumbled.
Desiree used the taser again.
“Not today it won’t”
“Pay better attention to your surroundings next time, or you’ll have worse problems then getting stunned by a bullshit taser.” Desiree released Blake from her grasp. He held his stomach tightly while still on the ground.
Desiree saw that a bus was about to stop and walked across the street to catch it. Once inside she sat in a window seat and waved goodbye. Though Desiree knew this would not be her last encounter with the young murderer. If Blake was anything like her, and she expected that they both has a lot in common, he would be searching for her endlessly.